10 Common Reasons why Children hate their Parents

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Parents unconditionally love their children and expect the same from them. Parents cater to their children’s needs, fulfill their demands, help them when required, stand by their side, support them & care for them. They are the candles that burn themselves to light up their children’s lives. They can almost do anything for their children and their betterment.

However, children sometimes do not have the same feeling for their parents. Although, they may respect their parents, or show that they love and care for them, deep down they may even hate their parents for one or more reasons.

Does your child also hate you? Read on to find out the possible reasons.

 

10. Over – Strict rules and frequent scolding on breaking themOver – Strict rules and frequent scolding on breaking them

Many times, parents tend to be strict towards their children and this strictness may sometimes go beyond the limits their children can tolerate. Also many parents make rules for their children, which may not go well with them. Still children are asked to follow these rules and if they fail to do so, the parents usually scold them or even may beat them up in certain cases. This kind of strictness is not at all liked by children and excess of such behavior makes children hate their parents.

Moreover, frequently scolding them or beating them up may cause a sense of insecurity among the children and they would hate their parents even more.

Similarly monitoring and mentoring the children more than required also may instill a feeling of hatred towards their parents amongst many children.

 

9. Not paying attention and/or giving time

Not paying attention and/or giving time

In today’s scenario, most of the parents are working. As a result, both father and mother are unable to pay proper attention towards their children due to lack of time. They are hardly aware of how do their children spend their day, what do they like or dislike, what are their dreams and ambitions, what do they expect from their parents and what are they up to. This may be either because parents are too busy to even talk nicely to their kids or because they may ignore or not need to what their kids tell them. The latter may be due to a variety of reasons (even, valid reasons) such as dual mindedness or absent mindedness caused by work pressure, over-burdening of responsibilities at both home and workplace, giving more importance to work or self than the kids etc. Again, if the parents too much preoccupied, they don’t give their children time, both quality and quantity. Children want their parents to talk to them, play with them, understand them and be friendly with them. Unable to give quality time to children may gradually lead to severe hatred from your children.

 

8. Not fulfilling their demands

 Not fulfilling their demands

It is human nature to demand a lot ones whom you love and care and the vice-versa. This demanding nature increases even more in front of the parents, as they are the ones who are always responsible for their kids, their basic needs, their belongings, their special requirements etc. Right from the birth, a child expects his/her parents to do everything for him/her and fulfill all his/her demands. Thus, whenever children need anything, they go to their parents first and ask for it. Sometimes, their demands may be as small as a chocolate or a new set of color pencils while it may even be as big as a personal laptop or a trip to Disneyland! Usually kids demand small simple things for which parents generally agree. Sometimes parents may disagree due to varied reasons, depending upon the circumstances. Saying ‘no’ to their demands sometimes is not only obvious but equally essential but always refusing to fulfill their demands or too much of being adamant may be a reason for their hatred.

 

7. Fighting

Fighting

Parents usually teach their kids to be calm and peaceful and that they must not fight. However, at the same time, they many-a-times fight amongst themselves or with others. This not only makes children hate their parents but also disrespect them. It is very usual for couples to fight. Even as parents, they may fight with each other, sometimes in their kid’s presence also. Moreover, many times, children have to act as mediators between their father and mother in their fights. Children hate these kind of fights and the habit of fighting may also be one of the reasons why children hate their parents.

 

6. Over- protection and extra care

 Over- protection and extra care

Most of the parents are very protective towards their children and care for them a lot. However, this care and protection sometimes becomes too much for children to accept. No child wants his/her parents to throw an overdose of care at him/her. They do not like to be asked every now and then about their well being. Not only this, often children are barred from doing certain things they wish to because of over-protection. Although it is necessary and obvious for parents to protect their children, but when this protection becomes excess, it may also impact children negatively. For instance, over-protection and extra care may snatch away the freedom of children which is very essential for their development. It may also make children more dependent upon their parents. Children must be made independent and even they love it. Protecting and caring too much may hinder this and make children hate their parents. As it is said, “excess of everything is bad”.

 

5. Greater affection towards sibling(s)

 Greater affection towards sibling(s)

In case of two or more children in a family, it is very common for kids to envy their brother/sister due to the extra attention he/she receives as they feel that the parents love him/her more. However, parents maintain that they love all their kids equally and they actually do. But, at times, knowingly or unknowingly, parents get biased towards one child more than the other. In such a case, the other child feels neglected and he/she creates a false notion in his/her mind that the parents don’t love him/her at all but only the sibling. This may occur when one child is favored more than the other due to any reason and it must be avoided or else the other one consequently starts hating his/her parents.

 

4. Generation gap; Reluctance to accept new things

 Generation gap; Reluctance to accept new things

One of the most common reasons for children hating their parents is due to the ‘generation gap’. As is said, generation gap creates a divide among people, usually in the ways they think and do things. There is usually a difference of about 18-40 years between the ages of parents and children and thus, they tend to behave differently. They perceive things in different manner due to many factors such as societal tendencies, advancements, technology, ideals, thoughts, family, friends etc. As a result, their opinions vary drastically in almost every situation. Moreover, the new generations are more open to new technologies, modern thoughts and modern ways of living life and they find them more appropriate and practical than the older, conventional ones. This leads to a mismatch between parents’ and children’s thinking. Parents usually do not approve of the modern thoughts or cultures, say for example gay marriages, live-in relationships, pre-marital sex, greater exposure of kids to new technologies or new things etc. This creates a mental divide among children and parents. As children these days usually prefer things their way, they often compel their parents to support their ideas leaving conventional ones behind. Reluctance to accept these ideas and not understanding the children’s point of view results in children hating their parents.

 

3. Double Standards

Double Standards

The difference in the words and action of the parents is one of the most important reasons why children hate their parents. Usually, almost every child, some or the other time finds his/her parents doing something which they teach not to do, for instance, telling a lie, or fighting. These are very common among adults (parents), albeit they teach their kids not to do so. Similarly, they even make false promises to their kids regarding many things. These unfulfilled promises make children feel that their parents lie to them and have double standards. Genuinely, children start hating their parents.

 

2. Forcing them to excel

Forcing them to excel

Today’s world is competitive. Obviously, every parent wants that his/her child must excel in all fields, be it academics, sports, art, music and so on. More than their wish and will, it becomes a matter of prestige for the parents in the society that their children come first in the class or play the sport to represent the city, state or nation. As a result, they compel their kids to excel in as many fields as possible. Even if some field doesn’t interest the child, the parental pressure creates a sense of fear in child’s mind and he/she unwillingly has to participate. In spite of the child expressing his/her dislike towards the particular field, if the parents keep on forcing the child to perform, he/she simply hates his/her parents.

 

1. Putting restrictions to their ideas in order to impose your own

1.

It is quite common for parents to impose their own dreams and ideas on their children even if the children don’t like them. The parents want their children to think and behave exactly as they wish to. They want their children to choose a spouse they like, a career of their interest etc. For instance, if a father could not become a doctor despite of trying hard, he imposes on his son to follow and fulfill his dream of becoming a doctor even though the son wishes to become a basket ball player. The father stops his son from playing the sport and study harder instead. He makes all decisions for his son from what subjects he chooses to what and for how much time he plays and studies. Just like in career, parents impose a lot of their dreams on their children as a result of which children hate their parents.

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  • Chelsea

    The English in this article is terrible.

  • lynn

    #1 ) DO NOT TELL YOUR CHILDREN NOT MARRY SOMEONE. UNLESS THE PERSON IS A DRUG ADDICT, OR A BAD PERSON. MY HUSBAND AND ME HATE MY IN-LAWS. TALK TO YOUR DAUGHER IN LAW MAKE THEM FEEL LOVED.

  • thert

    First reason: strict rules and beatings shows the parents love their kids?! I ask you this strict rules and beatings also happen in jail does that mean that the nice police officers love their inmates as if they are their sons and daughters?

  • Balance Zen

    Obviously an appeal to parents. Some parents do not love their children unconditionally, even if they have deluded themselves that it is completely the child’s fault. My parents only used me as the object of blame for everything. Their hatred for me was justified by the popularity fallacy, “everyone in the family hates you, so you are clearly at fault.”
    I have epilepsy and my mother actually enjoys putting me down as some kind of idiot, who can’t plug in a coffee pot. No, it’s not anger in her voice, but sheer arrogance. She has tormented me with every negative stigma in existence about epilepsy.
    I’m in business school. I’m an accountant. Is my mom proud? No. She says nothing about it. Instead she raves on my sister’s most minute accomplishments such as working at Fire Mountain Gems as a cutter or singing in a cover band.
    How can you say my mother loved me unconditionally, when she fed off my medical condition like a vulture to make her feel superior. And don’t talk about my father. He pretended to love me, but at night, I heard him complaining to my mother over what a little monster I was. :'( He was just a traitor. My mother told me he disowned me before he died. Why would she do such a thing? Why would she inform me that my father didn’t even care about me on his death bed? Because I believed in him. And she wanted to let me know what a foolish, naïve idiot I am. It was the perfect opportunity, and she broke my heart with a smile on her face.
    Maybe she was right. I heard him talk about me through the paper thin walls at night. I’ve always struggled with insomnia. I wanted to believe, though, that someone cared. If I loved my parents, that would make me the ultimate fool, and my mother would probably laugh at my expense. Anyway, I awake at night weighing how I have nothing to give to anyone, and wishing I would die.
    You are giving the wrong kind of message to the bad parents. You are confirming that their child hated them out of the blue. It doesn’t usually work like that.